Have you ever heard of the model above the line and below the line?
Some of you may have heard it referred to as OARBED. This is a very simple model that I share with my clients and I get them to teach it to their team.
If you want to upgrade your thinking to change the results you are experiencing in your business then keep on reading...because if we put in the effort today to start changing our automatic, default thinking processes then we will start to notice great changes! And imagine what would be possible if you taught this to your whole team and it became common practice in the office to mention if someone was being 'below the line?'. Imagine how that could change the culture?
Because the thing is that we all have moments in our life when we are thinking below the line. We are naturally wired like that to protect ourselves from lions, tigers and bears. We were supposed to keep ourselves safe and never go out of our comfort zones because it was too dangerous!
Have you ever felt like you want to speak up and you want to do something against the crowed but you have been gripped by fear and not been able to do so? That's normal! And a leaders we need to understand that those reactions happen to everyone but the difference is what we do with it...
And if we want to create deeper connections with the people in our team and we want to create an environment that is 'above the line' then we need to be the model for others and take responsibility for ourselves. We also need to make it OK to call people out when they are being below the line. We all want to be our best selves and the tendency to be in automatic negative mode is a far too common.
Some people end up staying stuck 'below the line' and living their whole life in blame and denial. They abdicate responsibility for who they are and create a think wall around themselves to protect them and never let anyone in. We cant do anything about people who choose to live this way but we can show them that there is another way by being the example and teaching this to them.
The first step is to become aware of what you are thinking. If you can notice that you are making an excuse then you are already progressing. You start to notice the internal dialogue you have with yourself. Start to be more present to your thoughts and choose which one you will listen too.
I had a client who was always making excuses for the people around her.
"She has 3 kids so she can be a bit snappy sometimes.." She said.
When I asked her how she was taking responsibility for it she looked puzzled. All I had to do was show her this model and ask her how she thought she was being and we quickly came to the conclusion that she needed to speak up. She started to recognize that not doing anything was actually just as bad. She recognized that as a leader you are constantly having to find a better way and that means creating a space where people feel they can give others feedback in their team. The feedback is done with love and that its OK to say something that might offend someone because not saying something has just as much of a negative impact.