It's not about you!- How to give feedback that works..

The thing I hear all the time from business owners is that they don't want to hurt peoples feelings when giving feedback. Lots of people are defensive and see it as criticisms so we find round about ways to say what needs to be said.... but is that being a great leader?

According to only 28% of employees get feedback on a regular basis compared to the 60% of them that reported wanting feedback so they could do their jobs better! This tells me that there is a big gap in the thinking of lots of mangers and business owners.

The definition of building connection with someone is helping them meet their needs and if we are clearly not doing this with our teams then how can we expect them to improve?

Tell me if this resonates with you: You go to give someone feedback, you get a queasy feeling in your tummy and then you back out entirely. You then regret not doing it, beat yourself up about it and then the moments gone and you just leave it...

This is a super common experience for emerging leaders because they have failed to learn one key principle of leadership. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU. Leadership is about making decisions to empower the team to get to the desired outcomes. If you are letting that feeling stop you from saying what needs to be said then you wont inspire the team to grow and you will drop your standards.

I figure that there is two reasons why this happens. The first one is YOU ARE TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT..... Not wanting to step on their toes and wanting to deliverer this news in a neatly wrapped package with a pretty bow on top...

The second one is YOUR OWN ATTITUDE towards feedback. You don't value it so you let yourself off the hook when it comes time to say it...

First of all, If I have described you here then ITS OK! You didn't know and you are still learning. Keep reading and you will figure out how.

1) Permission to suck! - When you get your team member in the room you can pre-frame that you are LEARING to give feedback and that's OK. Say something like " I would really like to give you some feedback and I am just learning, is it ok with you if I don't get it quite right?"

What do you think this does for your team member? How do you think it helps you with your mindset?

2) Think of the bigger picture! - When you are thinking about your emotions you are thinking about a small issue compared to what is truly important. Think about the big picture and you will be able to take yourself out of it! You will see that if you don't give this feedback today then others might start to do the same behavior..... How will that effect the company mission? If you don't give that feedback today, what message are you sending to the rest of your team about your standards?

If want to have a 'How to' guide about giving feedback then click the LINK to get access to the PDF.

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